I was asked if it loses some excitement with the 4th one, and for me, absolutely not. I was still anxious all day, wanting the time until the appointment to speed by. I was still a little nervous that there might be something wrong. I was still waiting with baited breath to hear the announcement of the baby's gender. And I laughed out loud when it was announced. I had unconsciously been using a gender specific pronoun the last couple of days, and I was right. We are having our third little boy. And we couldn't be more elated. When it comes down to it, no, it didn't matter. We would be elated with another girl. I can't describe the feeling that came over me when we were leaving the hospital. The feeling that this is our family. This is it. This is who we are going to make memories with. This is who we will get to see blossom and grow. This is who we will love for the rest of our lives. 3 boys and 1 girl. Just seems right. I know that anything can happen, that we aren't guaranteed anything in this life, but why on earth would I dwell on what might happen? Doesn't seem like much fun. I know what stress and worry can do to a person, and I know that if I let myself, I can let worry drag me down too, but I can't allow that to happen. As much as it pained me to see worry eat away at that person, it also made me much more aware of it in my own life as I've gotten older and have kids of my own. I just wish that person were still around to talk to about it; I wasn't well enough equipped back then.
Wow, that certainly went to a place I wasn't expecting. I suppose that's what happens when you write these things late at night on a whim...
In any event, I give you a sneak peek at our little one. I'll spare you the boy proof picture. I mean, I get why they print it off for you, but we will keep it to ourselves.
The other exciting part of our week is all about the oldest child of our little clan. He will be going tomorrow morning to register and be screened for Kindergarten. I am so very excited for him. I know he is going to love school. (For now, at least.) He has been counting down the days.
It's all kind of surreal for me. We will be starting anew with a brand new life the same time we will be watching our oldest take some of those first real steps towards independence. I want him to be independent, but it isn't always easy to let go.
I can't wait to see what he can accomplish. I knew I wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. This is one of the things that I was looking forward to. Seeing what my kids make of themselves. To encourage them and push them to be their best. Being on the brink of school just brings all those feelings to the forefront. I know, he's only 5, but I feel like the post I will write when he is about to graduate from highschool will come along entirely too quickly. I know the ride probably won't be an easy one, but it will be worth it.
I guess really, it feels like we are on the brink of starting a whole new phase of life. We are both going to turn 30 this year. We will celebrate our 10 year anniversary soon. We are having our last baby (at least that's the plan). We are moving out of the newborn/baby stage and into the having kids in school phase. It's exciting.
We've had some things not go the way we planned lately, and we are realizing just how trivial they really are. We step back, take a look around, see the roof over our head, the food on our table, a 5 year old who can ask some profound questions, an almost 3 year old that constantly makes others laugh, a 10 month old that completely lights up at the sight of her daddy, and an ultrasound picture of a new life to come, we realize that we have been blessed by God so richly. We couldn't ask for anything more.
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